Key Points
Respect client and part pronouns in IFS work. Misgendering can be harmful.
Explore your own relationship with gender and pronouns. This impacts your practice.
Be curious about who is gendering who
Recognise that not all systems engage with gender in the same way.
Curiosity and checking in are crucial for avoiding misgendering and creating a safe space.
Summary
Pronouns in IFS Therapy
This podcast episode centres on the importance of pronouns in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, particularly within the context of working with queer and neurodivergent clients. Jude and Alessio discuss their personal journeys with understanding and using their own pronouns, highlighting the complexities and emotional work involved. Both speakers emphasise the significance of using correct pronouns as a way to show respect and build trust with clients. They share personal anecdotes, illustrating how misgendering can cause pain and how the right pronoun can create connection.
Internal System Dynamics and Gender
The conversation delves into the internal landscape of systems and how gender manifests within. Jude and Alessio describe how their own internal parts hold diverse experiences and relationships with gender, ranging from parts that don’t identify with a specific gender to those that do. They acknowledge that the gender of a part might symbolise deeper issues such as societal expectations. This leads to a discussion of how therapists can unintentionally impose gender assumptions onto clients’ parts, emphasising the need for careful observation and respectful inquiry.
Therapeutic Practice and Pronoun Use
The speakers discuss practical approaches for therapists working with clients’ parts. They stress the importance of checking in with the client or the part to ensure the chosen pronoun feels comfortable and accurate. This process acknowledges that a client’s relationship with gender may be fluid or complex, thereby avoiding potential harm. The episode also highlights the therapists’ role in creating a safe space for clients to explore their own identities without pressure or judgment.
Cultural Considerations and Inclusivity
Alessio discusses the challenges of using pronouns in different languages and the impact of cultural norms on gender perception. The speakers underscore that some individuals may not identify with any specific pronouns or may find the use of pronouns exclusionary. The discussion emphasises the need to be sensitive to such variations and to ensure that the therapeutic process respects each individual’s unique experiences and self-expression. They reiterate that respecting individual differences is paramount to effective and ethical IFS practice.
Main points of the podcast
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
In this opening chapter, Alessio and Jude express their gratitude for the positive feedback received on their previous episodes. They discuss their intention to continue the conversation around neurodiversity and queerness, inviting listeners to engage with them.
01:38 The Importance of Pronouns
The hosts dive into the significance of pronouns, particularly in the context of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. They reflect on how understanding and respecting pronouns can enhance therapeutic relationships and client interactions.
03:37 Personal Journeys with Pronouns
Alessio and Jude share their personal experiences with pronouns, discussing the challenges and breakthroughs they encountered. They highlight the emotional impact of pronouns on their identities and how these experiences shaped their understanding.
08:34 Navigating Gender Fluidity
The conversation shifts to the complexities of gender fluidity and the challenges that arise in different cultural contexts, such as language barriers. Alessio shares his struggles with gendered language in Italian, emphasizing the need for sensitivity and understanding.
12:26 Gender as a Social Construct
The hosts explore the idea of gender as a social construct and its implications for internal parts within individuals. They discuss how societal norms influence personal identities and the importance of recognizing diverse gender expressions.
16:02 Assumptions and Misgendering in Therapy
Alessio and Jude address the common pitfalls therapists face regarding assumptions about clients’ genders. They stress the importance of validating clients’ experiences and the need for open communication about pronouns.
21:15 Curiosity and Sensitivity in Pronoun Usage
The hosts emphasize the significance of curiosity and sensitivity when discussing pronouns in therapeutic settings. They encourage listeners to approach the topic without fear and to respect individuals’ choices regarding their pronouns.
25:25 The Freedom of Exploration
In this concluding chapter, Alessio and Jude celebrate the liberating potential of exploring gender identities within the IFS model. They highlight the importance of allowing clients to express their identities freely and the rewards of fostering a curious and open environment.
