Key Points
This podcast episode explores the complex intersection of Self, gender, and sexuality within the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model.
The speakers question whether “Self” can be considered queer, examining whether this identity resides within the Self or its parts.
They highlight the influence of societal norms and the need to approach this topic without pathologising.
Summary
Is Self Queer?
This episode begins with introductions by Alessio and Jude, who establish their backgrounds as IFS therapists with a focus on neurodiversity and queer clients. They then introduce the core question: is the Self, in the IFS model, queer? They immediately acknowledge the complexity of this question, emphasising that it’s not about finding definitive answers but rather exploring the multifaceted nature of identity through a lens of “queering,” which means challenging societal norms and expectations.
Gender Identity and Self
The discussion shifts to the specific question of gender identity. Alessio shares personal experiences of discomfort with gender labels, emphasising the social construct of gender and the difficulty applying such constructs to the Self.
Jude acknowledges individual differences, noting that some clients, particularly transgender clients, may experience a stronger connection between their Self and their gender identity. The speakers agree that understanding the intersection of physiological body, assigned gender, and self-perceived gender within a client’s system requires careful attention to the client’s individual experiences and needs.
Sexuality and the Self
The conversation moves to sexuality, exploring the interplay between bodily responses, neurological processes, and the influence of parts. They discuss how the autonomic nervous system and bodily responses related to arousal might operate somewhat independently of conscious choices, acknowledging the role of parts in shaping experiences and responses around sexuality.
Reframing the Question
The central question of whether “the Self is queer” is ultimately reframed. The speakers argue that the importance lies in how these aspects of identity are held within the system, rather than assigning a singular label to “the Self.” This approach emphasises the integration of all parts of the Self. This also challenges the legacy of pathologising non-normative identities.
Conclusion and Next Steps
The podcast concludes with a commitment to further exploration of these complex issues, highlighting the importance of avoiding pathologising non-normative identities and embracing a more inclusive and nuanced understanding of identity within the IFS model.
Main points of the podcast
00:00 Introduction to Self and Identity
Jude and Alessio introduce themselves and their backgrounds, highlighting their passion for neurodiversity and queer identities. They set the stage for a deeper exploration of the concept of self in relation to queerness.
03:45 Defining Self and Queerness
The conversation shifts to the complexities of defining self energy and its relation to queerness. Jude and Alessio discuss the importance of questioning societal norms and the implications of identity within their therapeutic practices.
07:03 Exploring Gender Identity
Jude and Alessio delve into the relationship between Self and gender identity, questioning whether the self holds these identities. They reflect on their personal experiences and the societal constructs surrounding gender.
12:27 Navigating Sexuality and Self
The discussion turns to sexuality, exploring how sexual preferences and desires manifest within individuals. They consider the role of the body and mind in sexual arousal and the complexities that arise from neurodivergence.
19:26 The Interplay of Body and Mind
Jude and Alessio discuss the intricate relationship between the physiological aspects of sexuality and the cognitive processes involved. They highlight the importance of safety and comfort in sexual experiences.
25:04 Challenging Normative Discourse
The conversation critiques the historical pathologization of non-normative sexualities and the lack of discourse surrounding them. Jude and Alessio reflect on how societal norms shape perceptions of sexuality and identity.
29:03 Questioning Normativity
The conversation delves into whether the concept of self is being defined in opposition to normative standards, particularly in relation to queer and neurodivergent identities. The speakers explore the implications of societal biases on the understanding of Self and identity.
32:12 Reframing the Question
As the dialogue progresses, the speakers emphasise the importance of reframing questions about identity to better understand individual experiences. They discuss how different aspects of identity can coexist within a person’s system, highlighting the complexity of self-identification.
35:20 Honouring Individual Experiences
The focus shifts to honouring how identities are held within individuals, stressing the significance of understanding personal experiences rather than adhering to predefined norms. The speakers acknowledge the need for curiosity and openness in exploring identities and the burdens associated with them.
37:44 Closing Reflections
In the concluding segment, the speakers reflect on the discussion and express their desire to continue exploring themes of self-acceptance and neurodiversity in future episodes. They invite listeners to engage with their content and share feedback, reinforcing the collaborative nature of their conversation.
